Deepen your connections to get to awesome
We all love to connect. Some of us connect in different ways to others, and we might prioritise it more or less than others. But all of us, at some level, have a deep desire for connection. It’s how we’ve evolved as humans – the way we’ve arrived at being what we are has its roots in social connection and membership.
So it’s not that surprising that connection, as part of that bigger concept of belonging, is the start point for creating environments that encourage our people to show up as the best version of themselves. It makes sense, right? If I know I belong, it feels much safer to take creative risk, to think more expansively, to dare to find the limits of my current capability. And connection is something people really do want. Recent findings from OfficeVibe reveal that 70% of people would like to spend more time becoming closer with their manager, and that this will make them feel more connected to their organisations. With the same research release showing that 53% of people looked for a new job in the last year, and 36% are ready to leave if they get an offer, connection might be more important than ever if you want those awesome people you work with to stick around for longer.
When I think of the best leaders I’ve worked for, they all had a great ability to connect. The interactions that stick with me always started with connection. They were interested in me, the human Jeremy. It signalled that I was a valued part of the group. It meant I called it early when I was stuck or had made a mistake, I took ownership of the work I was doing, and I was more willing to give challenges a go. It also meant I’d more comfortably challenge things that I thought were getting in our way. By making connection a fundamental part of their leadership practice, those leaders set the scene for me to step up, give things a go and contribute better.
Creating connection with your people doesn’t have to be a complicated thing. I ask the clients I work with to deepen their connection with the people they lead by simply finding out and staying interested in what’s important to them. Phase one is work on 3 facets: Past, Present, Future. Phase 2 is the drift vs depth challenge. If we are drifting, we just play around in the shallows and find out the stuff on the surface (I had this job, I like working in this way, I want to be a senior whatever). That’s just the start. If you want to really create connection, you’ve got to deepen. This means asking the questions that help you find out why certain things are important to your people, why they are drawn to them, what that’s all about, etc. You don’t need to find it out all at once, just find ways to deepen as you make progress in the relationship. Keep at it, and create an environment where your people feel more connected, more supported in the work they do, and more ready to take on the challenges in front of them.
If you’re interested in giving this a go, download the free resource for deepening connection, or you might try it like I’ve described below:
Start with where you think you are at for your level of connection – drifting or deepening?
Break it down to the 3 facets of past, present and future. This gives you a sense of where you’ve got depth, and what you might be able to apply from that facet to the others.
Reflect on what you already know in each area:
Past: What do I know about the experiences, adventures, successes, lessons, skills that each person brings to our group?
Present: What is each person interested in and really motivated about right now?
Future: What’s the journey each person is on? How might this leg of the journey help them make meaningful progress towards being that person they want become?
Building on what you know, what questions might you ask to deepen connection even more?
