The leadership mud run
When's the last time you shared with your people that you, too, are a work in progress?
I love working with people who are setting out on their leadership careers. They are generally full of energy, excited about the adventure, and up for learning. There’s another thing I’ve been noticing lately though. There seems to be this self-expectation that they’ve got everything about leadership nailed; that they are the finished product and the picture of leadership perfection for their people. I see it in that need to have all the answers when their people are facing challenges; in that sense of anxiety that sharing their own struggles is to be too vulnerable; in that worry that if they haven’t got it all nailed, how can they challenge, coach and hold accountable the people they lead?
Where’s it coming from? My observation is that it’s coming from watching their own leaders. Somehow, in this imperfect, messy, experiment-filled mud run that is leadership, we’ve enrolled to the idea that the people we lead have to see us as the squeaky clean participant who didn’t fall over once and levitated over every obstacle.
That all leads to a perfectionist mindset. And it ain’t helpful for leading your people. In fact, we all want our leaders to be a work in progress. If we’re imperfect, we’re human. And if we’re putting up the “I’ve got it all nailed” façade, it not only makes everyone else afraid to own their imperfections; it also raises a ‘watch out’ warning flag for the people we lead. As humans, we all know that none of us is the perfect, finished product. We know it so well that, when we come across someone who is projecting perfection, it sets off the alarm bells. We become unsure whether we can trust that leader. Imagine seeing a runner come across the finish line of the above mentioned mud run with not a graze, bump or spot of mud on them. You’d be asking yourself whether they actually ran the race. And if they did, you’d be pretty sure they dodged all the obstacles rather than take them on.
What about the person who comes across the line caked in mud, gasping from the effort and smiling with the euphoria of just having survived the damned thing? The effort of the challenge is obvious, and we all love seeing someone scrap and grit their way to their goal.
So what does that mean for you as a leader? I’m all for the idea of revealing some of your current mud run challenges. A really interesting thing happens when people see you share some of what you are working on for your own development: people lean in to give you a hand. By and large, when you show vulnerability and authenticity, people will get beside you and help you along. In my Potent Leaders programme, we try this out as an experiment – here’s how it goes:
Choose one thing you are working on developing right now
Share it with your people – either 1:1 or with the team. Include why it’s important to you and the progress you’ve been making
Ask for feedback about how you’re going
That’s almost it. Except, of course, for the bit where you thank the other person for going out on a limb to give you feedback. And the bit where you use the feedback to help you boost your progress.
This stuff isn’t easy. It makes us all uncomfortable to put out there what we’re working on or finding a real challenge. But taking the lead on this sets up an environment where it’s okay for the people you lead to put their hand up and ask for help when they are in the midst of challenge, when the going gets tough or when they are feeling the fatigue of sustained effort.